Whether you’ve just started trying to rock your baby to sleep, or have been dealing with a colicky four month old for three hours or more, one of the best things you can do to help your baby fall asleep is to relax.

No doubt, that’s easier said than done, especially when the baby’s screaming and you feel like you haven’t slept in a week. But, because babies can sense our tension, and generally respond to it, anything within reason that you can do to reduce your own stress and relax will also help your baby to relax and fall asleep.

While there is no foolproof method for relaxing either yourself or your baby, here are a few things you can try to help calm yourself when your baby and everything around you seems to be going crazy:

• Visualize. This may sound a bit hokey, but it works for a lot of people. If you went to Lamaze classes, you’re probably already familiar with the basic idea. Essentially, close your eyes, and picture a quiet, relaxing place.
• Take deep breaths. In very stressful moments, when tensions are high, taking in several long, slow, deep breaths and letting them back out slowly can help lower your heart rate and blood pressure, as well as helping you to remain calm (or return to calm, if it’s too late technically to “remain”).
• Nap, nap, nap. Of course, it’s impossible to do this while the baby is awake, but, believe it or not, the baby will eventually fall asleep. And when he does, you go grab some shut eye, too. Work and household chores will wait. There are times when you simply have to take care of yourself.
• Talk to a friend, preferably one who has been there and done that with babies. Sometimes just talking about the way you feel can help you relax, especially when the person listening has been through it before and can empathize.
• Take a break. Whether it’s your partner, a friend, your parents, or a babysitter, you are going to need some time now and then to get away from the baby. Let other people take care of her from time to time. Not only is it good for the baby, but others will appreciate being able to be involved.

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