When You Have a Baby and a Toddler

Parenting both an infant as well as an older sibling can be quite a challenge for any parent.  The fact of the matter is that, while all children require a variety of amounts and types of attention, an infant typically has more immediate and severe needs than an older sibling.  For example, if a toddler would like to have a snack, he can very often wait for a few minutes until his mother or father can help him.  This is not the case with an infant.  An infant, of course, requires immediate or near-immediate feeding when she is hungry.  In addition, if the infant is being breast fed, then only mommy can help her out at that point.

Still, it is important when you are parenting an infant and an older sibling to not allow the older sibling to feel neglected, or to feel put aside.  The fact of the matter is that, while the older sibling might be more patient, he still needs the attention that you have to offer.  One way to help assuage feelings of neglect, jealousy, or favoritism is to get the older sibling to help you out with the infant.  By bringing the older child in as more of a “helper” or even a “partner,” you are more likely to be able to avoid some of the most common causes of sibling rivalry between an infant and an older sibling.

There are some things that you need to do when you are going to be parenting an infant and an older sibling.  You need to prepare the older sibling well in advance for the changes that will take place when you have an infant.  Help him to understand that his new baby brother or sister will grow up to be one of his best friends, although it will be quite a long time before they can play together.  Help your older child to know what other changes will be taking place, such as having to share a room, or being woken up in the middle of the night when the infant is hungry.  Teach your older sibling how to be safe around the baby, and even help the older sibling practice holding the infant.

Ultimately, parenting an infant and an older sibling at the same time can be a lot of hard work, but it can also be a very exciting and fulfilling experience.

This entry was posted in About Your Baby, Toddlers.